if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
