Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
