I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
