it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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