She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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