My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
