i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
