I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
