its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
