4 words: hood of his car
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
