shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
