i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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