I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
