Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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