hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
