did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
