Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I got inside last night via doggy door
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
