Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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