And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
