i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
