The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
