I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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