Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
