I skipped work to stalk him.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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