I just cut my nipple shaving
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
