That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
