we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
