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he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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