somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
