So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
