i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
