i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
