Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
