your parents love me but you hate me
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
