I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
