just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I need to sanitize my soul.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
