i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
he just fucked me for my cheese..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
