A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sober January is a disaster.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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