That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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