Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
