i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
