How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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