why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
