She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
