His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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