I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
