Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
