Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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