I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
