I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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